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May 28, 2020

Husband Never Realised Wife Was Such A Cow At Work

A man who is working from home alongside his partner of nine years had not realised that she was such a cowbag and a complete dick in the workplace.  Johnny Rockson was completely unprepared for his wife Angie’s workplace personality who turned out to be a massive backstabbing and self important cowbag.  Johnny told The

Coronavirus

Does A Day Out In Skegness Make You Disabled?

Thousands of ‘disabled’ folk have flocked to Lincolnshire’s coast and ignored threats by the locals to stay away or else get burned in a Wickerman after coronavirus restrictions were eased by our main man in charge Boris Johnson. In Skegness on Wednesday, May 20, there were long queues for Skegness’ latest must go to attraction.

Coronavirus

Hooray Hooray It’s A Furlough Holiday!

A furloughed factory worker from Gainsborough who has been at home for the past six weeks due to the Coronavirus lockdown, has said that he doesn’t mind ‘one bit’, and that he hopes it goes on for many more months. David Woodson, who works at a manufacturing company making automated packaging equipment told The Sausage:”The

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Coronavirus

As The Nation Rejoices At Piers Morgan Self Isolating From GMB, The Search Is On To Find A Virus Which Will Keep Him Off Twitter

The oddly popular breakfast TV presenter and first class gob shite Piers Morgan has had to step back from his presenting duties on Good Morning Britain while he awaits the results after being tested for Covid-19. The presenter was showing mild symptoms associated with the Coronavirus and was quickly tested. He is distancing himself from

Coronavirus

Revealed! Spanish Flu Pandemic Was Covid-19 Sent Back In Time By Evil Chinamerican Scientists Using 5G Masts At Trump’s Request

Scientists studying exhumed skeletons from a mass grave of Spanish Flu victims have discovered that Covid-19 was actually responsible. The scientists unearthed a truth which had been buried for over 100 years, whch was that the Spanish Flu wasn’t the Spanish Flu, but was the same coronavirus we are battling today. Woke keyboard warriors and

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News

Local Satire Writers Forced Into Facebook Prison And Gets A Telling Off As Tommeh Fan Gets Their Mum To Read Them A Satirical Post About Their Messiah.

Writers of satirical news websites across the world were in shock today as one of the Lincolnshire Sausages top writers was placed into Facebook Prison.  ” Go directly to jail if you pass go don’t collect £200″ Tom Eh-Isawankha, our very own brown skinned, second generation son of a muslim immigrant and job stealing writer,

Shortage Of Fresh Fruit & Veg Supply Has No Effect Whatsoever On The People Of Scunthorpe Reveals Report

Major disruption to the supply chain of fruit and vegetables across Lincolnshire and North Lincolnshire is expected to affect the Scunthorpian diet in no negative way whatsoever, according to a report published by experts at Lincoln University. Prof David Brownmore-or-less-son told The Sausage, from a safe distance of two meters: “With the perfect storm of

Man Quarantined With Parents Forced To Sit Watch Sex Scenes.

Thomas Tank or Tommy Tank to his friends has found self isolating during the coronavirus pandemic a little bit tricky and rather cringe worthy at times. Like many, Tommy has been trying to keep himself busy for those long hours of isolation. Only for him, it’s ended up being under some of the most mortifying

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