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August 9, 2020

Boston Bin Battle As Beer Can Brews Bad Blood.


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A Boston man was arrested yesterday afternoon after he threw a wheelie bin at his neighbours mobility scooter.

The argument happened after Mr Bin There had spotted his neighbour Mrs Bin Overthere had placed a Stella act a twat can in his recycling bin without getting his permission.

Apparently it wasn’t the first time this had happened and the can of Stella was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Mr Bin There flew into a rage after he spotted his neighbour putting the can into his bin. He sprinting out of his house with sparks flying from his heels as they touch the ground.

After a short heated exchange of differences Mr There was seen to pick up his recycling bin and throw it at Mrs Overthere striking her mobility scooter knocking off two mirrors, 6 horns and a set of false teeth.

Mr There’s neighbour Mr Bin Inside-Allday told the Sausage; “I knew this argument was going to come to a head soon and by Jove it did. Mr Bin There who is normally on crutches came flying out of his house shouting abuse at Mrs Overthere who to be honest was giving as good as she got.”

“At one point she even got out of her mobility scooter to prod Mr There in the chest with her stick. It is amazing what rage can cure as they both normally can barely walk… especially on benefit assessment days.”

“I did tell them to pipe down at one point as my kids were in bed and both had community service in the morning. But my voice could not be heard over the raging pair… it was like watching the Williams sisters going toe to toe in a Wimbledon Final.”

“Eventually Mr Bin There had had enough and launched the wheelie bin at Mrs Overthere damaging her scooter. If that wasn’t enough he picked up the Stella cans which had fallen out of the bins and threw them too striking Overthere on the head.”

“It just lucky Wild Bill arrived when he did as I just don’t know what would have happened if the ornamental cat figurine Mr There had picked up and was about to lob at her had hit Mrs Overthere.”

Mr (Wild) Bill Hixon was good enough to stop and give us an official police statement of the incident. 

“When I arrived at the scene these two varmints were having a real rootin’ tootin’ ding dong of a hoe down. So I arrested them. That’s about the size of it. Ok, on ya way now, there’s nothing for you to see here. Ya’ll have a good time now ya hear!”

Mr Bin There is due to appear at Lincoln Magistrates Court on August the 8th charged with Bin Stupid offences.

 

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