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THE act of ‘popping round’ unannounced to someone’s house is to be reclassified as a crime with the possibility of a custodial sentence or a good birching in the local town square. The government has finally vowed to clamp down on this antisocial behaviour that has terrorised the British population for generations. A government
As Brexit looms ever closer, it seems drinkers of European Biers will be hit the hardest. Even though it was the main driving force of the whole Brexit debacle. A Government official told one of The Sausage’s Brexit team that the “price hikes were a kind of stealth tax which will be needed to
Thousands of Pupils across Northern Lincolnshire will have to wait at least 24 hours to get their GCSE results. The delay was a result of a printing error at the envelope factory, The opening instructions had not been printed on the envelopes meaning the pupils would not be able to open the envelopes safely
Sausage readers cast your minds back to 2016, to Boris’ red bus and good ole Nigel Farage spreading fear about Turkey’s – unlikely to happen anytime soon – application to join the E.U. Brexit politicians creating a fear of Turkey because it borders Syria and Iraq etc, you know the place we like to
An alien spacecraft landed in the St Giles area of Lincoln earlier this week and had to be abandoned after its landing legs were stolen. Locals were startled to see a small disc shaped UFO landing in the local Swift Gardens. It is unclear as to why St Giles in Lincoln was chosen to
A sleepy town in Lincolnshire famous for it headless horseman and ugly women where nothing much happens apart from the odd derelict building fire and the often bridge strike, has become a no-go area for some locals. Recently the town has witnessed a major increase in crime, and the townsfolk are demanding urgent action
A Scunthorpe woman has been branded a feral animal by work colleagues and friends after being caught red handed boiling a pair of dirty undercrackers in a hotel kettle and then making a coffee with the water for herself and her boss. The disgusting act happened whilst on a business trip to Turkey. The woman
Lea Road Bridge in Gainsborough has been at it again despite warnings from local Authorities and the British Transport Police. On Wednesday afternoon August 14 th around 3pm the naughty bridge decided to stop another lorry in its tracks brining that part of Gainsborough to a standstill. The bridge is a pivotal part of
The county is being warned to brace itself after a yellow weather warning for thunderstorms was issued by the Met Office. Forecasters are predicting that parts of Lincolnshire could see heavy showers due to thunderstorms working the afternoon shift between 2pm and 10pm on Wednesday August 14. In the warning the Met Office informed
Picture it, in a cascading spray of foam, a huge whale launches majestically out of the sea before your very eyes. A scene you should only see in the balmy waters of Hawaii or Mexico? Well that’s what a group of day-trippers on a boat a few miles out of Penzance thought. Ben Home,
