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May 7, 2021

Exclusive! Boston Woman In Brothel Job shock!

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A Boston woman who has spent the last 10 years complaining that foreign nationals were over here stealing jobs was shocked at her new job placement in a seedy back street massage parlour.

The Boston jobcentre told Mrs Poppi Tupper 37, that thanks to Brexit several job placements were now available at a privately run hospitality business in the town.

Mrs Tupper was shocked to find that place of work was a massage parlour and that she couldn’t refuse the job or she would lose her universal credit.

Mrs Poppi Tupper told the Sausage. “I thought, it’s just massage, no harm in that, I can do that. I couldn’t believe it when I asked one guy, an overweight and sweaty old man, what kind of massage he wanted and he said the kind you do with your mouth as he undid his trousers. That’s when I realised, this isn’t a massage parlour, it’s a bloody brothel!”

The Mattress Mambo Massage Parlour on Booty street Boston was forced to look locally for workers after many of its girls decided to return home since the 2016 EU referendum.  

Romanian born Mr P. Ussimann manager of the parlour said “We offer a much needed service to the men of Boston. And now a lot of my best bitch… ahemm I mean women have left, I’ve had to look more locally for replacements. There are a few frustrated housewives who are slipping into the role quite naturally… if you know what I mean.”

Mrs Tupper added. “My husband Graham, a professional fruit picker who lost his job to a bloody Romanian, well he isn’t happy about me working at the parlour. Since I started here he no longer goes out on a Thursday night like he used to each week, and when I get home after working a shift he always asks whether Mr Ussimann has said anything. You know, all concerned for my welfare like. He is a sweetie really.”

The Boston jobcentre wasn’t available to comment.


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