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November 13, 2019

Archives for September 2019

Urgent Police Investigation Launched Into Sex Worker Trafficking After Hearing ‘9 Vans Of Virgin Workers Spotted In Gainsborough’.

It has been revealed that Lincolnshire police have now closed a massive investigation into alleged sex worker trafficking in Gainsborough after they realised that 9 vans of workers seen parked up on a local road were workers for Virgin Media and not ‘virgin’ sex workers.  The investigation was launched after detective A. Rsetoot of the

Local Councils Build FireWood Stores As Part Of Brexit Preparations Amid Fuel Shortage Fears.

Councils across Lincolnshire have started to build large stores of firewood in towns and villages for the local populace as part of its Brexit preparations. In operation Wood You Adam And Eve It, town councils have hired several members of the local ‘traveller community’ to distribute firewood on several unused and derelict locations plus the

Lincolnshire Folk, Prune Your Parts And Show Some Heart! Channel 4’s Naked Attraction Needs Your Flesh.

Roll up roll up yellow-bellied folk of Lincolnshire, that popular controversial Channel 4 is looking for people from our area to star in the next series of Naked Attraction. Everyone is considered… no matter how local you look. Producers are scouring the nation looking for the next batch of willing  contestants for the hit cringe

Military Gather As Tensions On The Lincolnshire & Nottinghamshire Border Mount After Trent Port Manager Is Heard Saying That The Food At The Lincolnshire Otter ‘Is S**T!’

Tensions on the Lincolnshire Nottinghamshire border escalated today as troops from the famous East Anglia Regiment were seen gathering at Trent Bridge.  Soldiers were seen moving heavy armoury along Lea Rd towards Trent Bridge early Monday morning. Cannons were aimed at the Trent Port in response to the managers scathing criticism of Gainsborough’s favourite road

Breaking News! Another Embarrassing Defeat For Boris Johnson As He Is Suddenly Orphaned

Stanley Johnson has today stepped down from his role as father to the temporary Prime Minister, Boris Johnson. Stanley was reacting after his other son, Joe the more popular brother decided that the job of being Boris’ brother was just not acceptable and was in fact, rather embarrassing. Stanley told the Sausage: “Being Boris’ father

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