Stanley Johnson has today stepped down from his role as father to the temporary Prime Minister, Boris Johnson.
Stanley was reacting after his other son, Joe the more popular brother decided that the job of being Boris’ brother was just not acceptable and was in fact, rather embarrassing.
Stanley told the Sausage: “Being Boris’ father was actually harder than going to work or finding work in a post Brexit Apocalypse.”
“Boris always threatened to leave home when he was younger but he always came back asking for an extension. To be honest, he was just a complete and utter cockwomble of a nuisance.”
“Family parties were an embarrassing time for us when he was at home from Eton. It wasn’t too bad during term time, we could pretend he didn’t exist.”
“Unfortunately, after this weeks fiasco in Parliament I am left with only one course of action. The only way to get rid of him was to stand down as his father.”