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August 9, 2020

Urgent Police Investigation Launched Into Sex Worker Trafficking After Hearing ‘9 Vans Of Virgin Workers Spotted In Gainsborough’.

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It has been revealed that Lincolnshire police have now closed a massive investigation into alleged sex worker trafficking in Gainsborough after they realised that 9 vans of workers seen parked up on a local road were workers for Virgin Media and not ‘virgin’ sex workers. 

The investigation was launched after detective A. Rsetoot of the local Gainsborough CID overheard two men talking about ‘vans of Virgin workers’ seen that morning parked up on Carr Lane in Gainsborough.

Carr Lane is a busy road used by lorry drivers, shift workers and dog walkers. It is in a deprived area of town leading to several large business.

In a statement released by Lincolnshire police yesterday Chief Inspector F. Latfoot said, “Both men were drawing out large sums of money and appeared excited and in a rush.” 

“When detective Rsetoot overhead the men talking about the 9 vans of Virgin workers parked up in a lane he quickly called it in fearing that there had been a major people trafficking incident.”

“Fortunately, this time it turned out to be a misunderstanding and the vans did not contain loads of smuggled young slender and sexy Eastern European women being pimped out to local men by gangsters.”

The police received complaints for the huge waste in time and resources over the misunderstanding but Chief Inspector stands by the actions of his officers declaring “people would be appalled if we didn’t take action on detective Rsetoot’s information and it happened to be right.”

“We were right to check it out and I am happy to say that this time we found that there were no women working in the back of the vans.”

Rumours around town suggests the morale of the male officers plummet as they approached Carr Lane spotting the Virgin Media vans and a gang of around 20 sweaty hair arsed men in hi-viz jackets standing around staring into holes and tents trying to look busy.

None of the male officers who arrived at the scene were happy enough to comment.

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