Choose Your Lifestyle Wisely As Top Scientific Research Questions How Good Healthy Living Actually Is
Fresh concerns have been raised once again over the safety of healthy lifestyles and fancy diets after a study found that people following them eventually die anyway.
In a recent study, a team of scientists from The University of Lincoln found that people who ate fruit, went for a jog, didn’t smoke and drank no alcohol were just as likely to die as chain smokers, drunks and out right lard-arses.
Professor Si Entist told The Sausage: “The findings are worrying. In one extreme case a man from a well known triathlon club based in Lincoln died of a boredom induced cardiac arrest shortly after talking to his mate whilst doing sit ups, informing him about how little alcohol he drank, how he had never even tried a cigarette and the benefits of running a 500 mile race on a meat free diet.”
“Pretty much everything is bad for you, or good for you depending upon which day it is and which newspaper you are reading. Last year butter was bad for you and this year it’s good for you. My advice on butter is to be like a good prostitute and get spreading it around.”
“ Fortunately I smoke twenty a day and I’m rarely sober, I’m taking no chances. I have salad on my burger to even things out a bit, but let’s face it, we are going to die anyway as life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn’t last as long for fat people.”
The Sausage says it’s up to you how you take this advice on life maybe take it with a pinch of salt… or not depending on whether salt is good for you this week.