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May 28, 2020

Local Workers Outraged As They Were Forced To Do A Full Days Work As Mobile Phone Networks Crash.

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Workers across Lincolnshire were forced into doing a full day’s work and had to speak to one another at break times today due to a major mobile phone network outage.

Workers were unable to update their Instagram and Facebook accounts leaving many staff with nothing better to do than get on and do the work they are paid to do. Dave Redding an employee from a local company on the Heapham Road Industrial Estate told The Sausage “It’s bloody pointless coming to work if you cannot access the internet. I even had to go out and buy a newspaper today. But what really grinds my gears about this whole debacle is the fact I cannot check my cameras at home, which means I missed my neighbour doing her morning naked yoga in her bedroom without closing the curtains.”

“It’s an absolute shit show I tell you! It took me 3 weeks to get the perfect camera angle. To be honest it was like being back at work in the early eighties, I’m absolutely knackered, I have put a full shift in. I will most definitely be putting in a compensation claim!”

Another disgruntled worker told The Sausage “I missed out on my mid morning and afternoon eBay shit which cause me to miss an item I had placed a bid on. And to top it all off I have had to actually communicate with the idiots that work here.”

A spokesperson for the networks said they were investigating the problem and are currently fielding complaints from a number of customers including a 21 year old man from Scunthorpe who was unavoidably forced to talk to his parents today.

Childline said that they had been inundated with calls from distraught teenagers thinking that the end of the world was happening as they could not access their social media accounts or snap chat with their friends.

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