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November 13, 2019

Archives for November 2019

A White Christmas For The People Of Gainsborough As The Coke Truck Schedules A Seasonal Stop Off.

Residents and business owners in Gainsborough have admitted that they are ‘absolutely over the flipping moon’ after it was announced that the Coke Truck has been scheduled to visit the town centre on November the 29th. According to a spokesperson for organisers Sniff ‘n’ Blow International, the small Lincolnshire market town of Gainsborough has been

Breaking News! 250 Immigrant Loving Disrespectful Tree Hugger Types Arrested In County-Wide Crackdown On Non Poppy Wearing

More than 250 people have been arrested as part of an operation to crackdown on disrespectful non Poppy wearing. Since mid the start of November 250 people – described as pacifists, communists and immigrant loving tree hugging lefty types –  have been arrested following a series of dawn raids around Lincolnshire for various offences including

Bad Dishwasher Usage Is Evidence Of Devolution.

Scientists working at the University of Lincoln today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into two distinct species. They also point out that, for one of them, evolution appears to be running backwards. “We have examined the way people use their dishwashers and discovered that people

Unruly Children To Be Tethered To The Outside Of Public Transport To Ensure ‘Quite’ Journeys

Annoying children are to be tethered to the outside of planes, trains and buses so they can play outside and avoid disturbing older passengers who like quiet. The suggestion to tether children to the outside of public transport came after 78 year old Mr G. Rumpybum saw the environmentalists glue themselves to London’s Tube Trains