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May 28, 2020

Breaking News! 250 Immigrant Loving Disrespectful Tree Hugger Types Arrested In County-Wide Crackdown On Non Poppy Wearing

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More than 250 people have been arrested as part of an operation to crackdown on disrespectful non Poppy wearing.

Since mid the start of November 250 people – described as pacifists, communists and immigrant loving tree hugging lefty types –  have been arrested following a series of dawn raids around Lincolnshire for various offences including not wearing a Poppy and not being patriotic enough, Lincolnshire Police revealed.

“Let’s Make ‘em wear one if not we will stick one on ‘em,” said PC Pol Itical-Correct. “Failing that we will send Tommy Robinson round with his crayons.”

The operation known as ‘Let’s Make Them Wear One If Not We Will Stick One On Them’ was declared a success.

Lincolnshire Police said “It was committed to ensuring that Sundays festival of respect went as smooth as possible.” 

Rather than the quiet contemplation of the personal sacrifices made by young men and women in conflicts around the world this year’s Remembrance Sunday became the ‘who’s wearing the biggest Poppy’ competition and which politician can cause the most upset and controversy, won this year by Boris The Dick Johnson by laying his wreath the wrong way up.

Morning raids, which mostly targeted people who have refused to wear a Poppy or was seen walking past a Poppy vendor trying their best to ignore them, were carried out by more than 1000 specialist officers from S-cunthorpes Poppy Division.

Most of the arrests made were for not possessing a Poppy with intent to not buy one. 

One Gainsborough man was arrested for wearing last year’s Poppy, “He was soon released when we learned that he was just a bit skint this year and wasn’t a disrespectful tight wanker.” Said Sargent I. Cecream.

The team said some of those arrested might be bailed but would have certain conditions placed on them including having a Poppy branded on them by a veteran and having to sign in with a probation officer at a Cenotaph every November for the next five years.

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