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December 14, 2019

Local Remainer Accused Of Brainwashing Potential Impressionable Gammons In To Being Pro European.


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A should be retired local assembly worker and full time gammon has accused a fellow work colleague of brainwashing people.

Apparently the brainwashing happened in a scientific controlled area of the factory known as ‘the factory stores’ where ‘The Lefty’ – as he has been affectionately nicknamed – hides out awaiting his Brexit loving prey.

From the stores ‘The Lefty’ kept watch waiting to spot a potential victim at the coffee machine (also known as the snare).

The radicalistic Remaining worker would then lure the potential victim into the stores (the trap) with the promise of Unicorn cakes where they were subjected to an anti-Brexit brainwashing session. 

His victims screams could not be heard by the rest of the factory workers as they were cleverly drowned out by the booming beats of commi-socialist tree hugging Happy Hardcore or unelected burecratic European Union loving Euro-Techno.

It is reported that the EU loving anti-Brexiter wore a special pair of hypnotic glasses and was heard chanting ‘look into my eyes, not around the eyes but into my eyes… Brexit is bad, being part of the EU is good’.

The Gam-moaning pensioner was outraged by the Lefty’s behaviour and seeked help from the ‘let’s bury our heads in the sand management team’ – as he regularly called them – but it was to no avail.

The Remaining radicalist escaped disciplinary action because management were unable to determine whether there was any truth to the incoherent ramblings of a xenophobic and racist old fool living on a delusional misunderstanding of the past.

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