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A Lincolnshire man who drinks a litre and a half of brake fluid every day claims that he’s not addicted and that he can stop any time he wants. Paul Halt, 45, began drinking brake fluid on his 16th birthday and he has been drinking it everyday since. “I started by just doing shots of
Worried men all over the world have just realised that now might be a good time to start their Christmas shopping. For some reason unknown to mankind, men always leave their Christmas shopping to the last moment. Maybe it’s a genetic flaw or just pure incompetence. Instead of planning ahead and shopping for their gifts
Local post persons from across the county who haven’t spoken a word to Lincolnshire residents for 350 days have suddenly become friendly and approachable over the past couple of weeks. Local post person, Pat O’Cake who usually waits around the corner until people have gone out so he can push his ‘We called while you
A lovely kind hearted retired neighbour in Lincolnshire has confirmed that it is ‘absolutely fine’ and he is in no way cheesed off about collecting his neighbours Amazon deliveries. The good willed neighbour named Ronald told The Sausage “that is was no problem whatsoever” to be regularly interrupted and used as a parcel pick-up point
Lincolnshire parents have been advised by the Met office to layer up on their pajamas and put their fluffy winter dressing gown on today for the morning school run as it’s a bit fresh out there. The school run could take a little longer this morning due to there being a General Election with mum’s
An unnamed Lincolnshiresman was left in that dicey catch 22 situation last night as his wife of five years uttered those soul destroying words ‘let’s not bother getting anything for each other this year for Christmas darling’ as they lay in bed. “It will save us having to spend pointless amounts of money on each
A Lincolnshire dog is preparing himself to be blamed for seasonal family farting, brought on by overindulgence of sprouts, dates, and other festive fare. Springer Spaniel Benji, 6, says that he will be openly blamed for all of the toxic gases and nose numbing niffs on Christmas Day. Benji told The Sausage: “I will take
Brexit advent calendar has gone on sale a few days late with fuckall, false promises, lies and disappointment behind each door. The overpriced £15.50 festive product has a variety of picture predictions on every door from 1 to 24, but almost all windows end up entirely blank and lifeless, and after number 20 they don’t
Voters in Lincolnshire face an agonising choice in the upcoming general election as they attempt to balance their dislike of Johnny foreigners or their general hatred of anyone with money. It’s a dilemma which is causing mental torment and creating a lot of soul searching throughout the county. It could basically come down to… do
