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September 27, 2020

That Bloody Dogs Farted Again!

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A Lincolnshire dog is preparing himself to be blamed for seasonal family farting, brought on by overindulgence of sprouts, dates, and other festive fare.

Springer Spaniel Benji, 6, says that he will be openly blamed for all of the toxic gases and nose numbing niffs on Christmas Day. 

Benji told The Sausage: “I will take it all in my stride it’s all part and parcel of being a dog, especially when Great Grandma let’s one blow after gouging on a bowl of sprouts and everyone turns to me. You just accept it and take it on the chin and ignore the finger pointing.”

“If you thought about the injustice of it for too long, it will eat you up and you become as angry as one of those Jack Russell types and you would end up wanting to kill everything in sight. let’s face it if you keep your head down and tail wagging there’s always the chance of some of leftovers coming your way.”

Benji is currently working on a new party trick which involves him licking his own arsehole then going to give the last person who wrongly accused him of farting an excited face licking.It’s just his way of giving them something back and it really disgusts them. “Woof woof.”


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