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March 30, 2020

Church Of England Considers Moving Christmas To Late January To Suit Snowy Christmas Card Scenes


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As parts of the UK witnesses it’s first day of snow in 2020, leaders of the Church of England consider whether they should move Christmas day to a day which is more likely to experience snow.

According to the Church of England, the baby lord Jesus was officially born on the 25th of December 2020 years ago. But that date rarely delivers snow and as we all know, a Christmas isn’t a real Christmas if it doesn’t have snow.

“Is it really a Christmas if it isn’t a white Christmas?” Asked the honourable Reverend Peter File during a talk with the Sausage. “Every Christmas card, and all of the best Christmas films shown on Channel 5 from the end of August all have snow.”  

“Everyone loves snow at Christmas, it’s just so magical. It turns a dull and boring time into something special.There is nothing I love more than taking the choir boys up the hill for a spot of Christmas day tobogganing”

“The people of Britain would rather have a White Christmas than peace to all Mankind or the second coming of Christ himself. So it makes sense that we bring Christmas in line with the modern world and give the people what they want. After all, it’s their Christmas and if they wish to have a white Christmas, then I believe it is the Church’s role to deliver it.”

The idea is being opposed by gambling companies and organisations. “I think it is an outrageous idea,” Fred Bet told us. “Everyone loves to have a Christmas flutter as to whether there will be snow on the big day. We make millions at that time of the year.”

“If not one snowflake hits the met office in London then it’s not a white Christmas. If the Church of England does decide to move Christmas day to the end of January or beginning of February when we are more likely to have snow, just so that the population can enjoy a perfect Christmas card Christmas…. Well, we will lose millions.”

The Sausage would like to know your opinion on this controversial proposal. Do you think  Christmas should be moved to the end of January or the beginning of February so that the people of Britain can enjoy a white Christmas?


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