Part time teen climate change activist and full time school skiver Greta Thunberg has dramatically changed her view about rising sea levels after the misfortune of visiting Cleethorpes last weekend.
The fiery young angry Swede was so horrified by what she saw she now hopes sea levels continue to rise and wipe the town off the map.
In a speech to shocked tourism and eco officials at the Lincolnshire seaside resort, she said: “How dare you? This is all wrong. I shouldn’t be standing here in Cleethorpes.
“I should be back in school on the other side of the North Sea studying and planning for my future. Yet you all dare come to me for hope? How dare you.
“Cleethorpes is an absolute shit tip, the arsehole of Lincolnshire. In fact it makes Blackpool look like the French Riviera! Hopefully, sea levels will rise a good foot or two and wipe this god forsaken place off the map for good.”
Eco warrior and part-time Geography teacher Sandy Banks , 34, was shocked by Greta’s out-of-character outburst and demanded that she should be drugs tested.
Sandy told The Sausage: “Greta must have been terribly affected by what she saw in Cleggy to actually want the sea to rise. Maybe her drink had been spiked or something.”
Young Greta, 17, was visiting Cleethorpes to officially open a Fish And Chip restaurant in the town.”
Owner Barry Haddock said: “She agreed to open the restaurant before flying off in her private jet to the Davos summit in Switzerland.”
“But we didn’t expect her to be quite so rude about Cleethorpes!”