Ten Bob Tina the Blow Job Queen of Bottesford as the locals like to call her, real name Tina Turner from Bottesford, has decided to offer free nosh jobs in the woods of Bottesford Beck Linear Park over the last week of January as a way to drum up business.
“I got the idea after going to Tescos for a couple of bottles of White Lightning. They were doing a buy one, get one free offer. Giving away something for free is a lost leader. It gets people going back for more and so I thought, what a great idea.”
“I could do a couple of weeks of free blow jobs, only one per person mind, and show them what I can do… you know, to drum up more trade.”
“I am also thinking of getting some loyalty cards made up, I got that idea while using the disabled toilets in Costa to wipe myself down after doing a… you know… business transaction with a punter in the car park.”
“I thought, now was a good time, what with the Brexit festivities happening. There will be plenty of blokes celebrating Brexit in the Beckwood pub this Friday, all well oiled and ready to let off some steam… if you catch my drift.”
Brexit is going to force me to up my prices by a few quid but at least the free nosh job promotion should help get me new clients who have never yet paid for my services…They don’t know whether I charge £10 or £12. So at least the new price hike won’t matter to them once they have experienced how good I am.”
“As my loyal clients often say, ‘no one polishes a nob, as good as Tina Ten Bob’.”
Tina’s Brexit festive free blow job promotion will run until Friday the 7th of February and insists that it is one per person only. Loyalty cards will be given out during the event.