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March 30, 2020

A Valentine’s Day Massacre, As Men Start Shopping!

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Worried men all over the world have just realised that now might be a good time to start their Valentine’s Day shopping.

For some reason unknown to mankind, men always leave their Valentine’s Day shopping to the last moment. Maybe it’s a genetic flaw or just pure incompetence. Instead of planning ahead and shopping for their gifts in advance they choose to spend all of the other Saturdays in January in the pub or just doing man things.

Larry Pratchett from Lincoln told The Sausage: “I have booked Friday off work and if I start shopping at 10:30 today that gives me enough time to catch a Macy’s breakfast, an hour and a half  to buy gifts for the wife and girlfriend then two hours to go to the pub to grab a couple of beers while ‘Slack’ Sue the barmaid wraps em up for me.”

“I don’t even know what the wife wants, she says her iron has been playing up so I may treat her to a new one as for me girlfriend be some Ann Summers items because there is no point wasting things like that on the wife..!, I’ll Snapchat you the photos over…”

“I don’t know why people make a song and dance about this Valentine’s shopping lark, its a piece of piss if you ask me, why the wife starts looking in December I will never know.”

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