Go to ...

RSS Feed

April 9, 2020

Cat will lick It’s Own Arsehole But Won’t Eat Cheaper Cat Food!


Spread the love

A cat called Bob has refused to eat a cheaper brand of catfood, despite having recently licked its own arsehole.

Four year old Bob has not touched the non-brand “premium meat in gravy’ even though it appears just as identical to the meat that he was previously being fed.

Bob’s owner Dallas Frenchenson told The Sausage: “You’d have thought that if you’re prepared to eat a large brown arsehole as I find him doing most days on the living room rug, you’d be okay with a few flavoured meaty chunks, even if it’s not the exact type you’re used to.”

“He was getting the expensive James Wellbeloved shit, but I recently lost my overtime and I’ve never been so skint so it’s back on the Aldi’s own brand I’m afraid.

“I am that skint it even costs me to fart and I’d really appreciate it if Bob could get with the program on this one and stop acting like a spoilt cat. Doesn’t he know I’ve got a kit car to build and an eBay budget?”

Bob told The Sausage: “I’m not fucking touching that. Yes I will lick my own arsehole and bollocks but that’s for hygiene reasons and those meaty chunks are just not quite right. I’m sure I could hear one neighing.”

“He needs to pick his game up otherwise I’m not going to eat anything until I get really thin and the neighbours call the RSPCA.”

“Apparently in the animal shelter up the road you get lobster flavour Whisker’s according to Lillykins who is my cat on the regular… if you know what I mean wink wink..”

Tags:

More Stories From Lincolnshire