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April 9, 2020

Pier’s Morgan Is The Biggest Tosser Alive!


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TV presenter and full time tosser Pier’s Morgan is celebrating after breaking the pancake day record for being the biggest tosser with an award winning back-of-the-net commanding performance.

Piers put on a legendary display this pancake day, showing off his massive skill set as he smashed the previous record for biggest tosser.

One really over excited eye witness told The Sausage:”What we saw today will go down in history. Morgan didn’t just break the record for being the biggest tosser, he absolutely smashed it flipping the record on its head completely.”

As soon as the TV presenter turned up for the contest you could feel confidence oozing out from his fleshy scales filling the room with an awful odor. This was clearly an event Piers ‘ The Tosser ‘ Morgan had been practicing for.

“I feel like my entire life has been leading up to this moment. Since I was young journalist people have been telling me I’m a massive tosser. It’s absolutely fantastic to have it officially noted and to have finally taken the record for ‘The Biggest Tosser Alive’,‘ Morgan told The Sausage..

Piers beat off a lot of stiff competition from the likes of Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage,Joey Barton, Bono, Morrissey and a reincarnated Adolf Hitler to claim the prestigious crown.

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