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April 9, 2020

Good Morning Lincolnshire Take Note


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Storm Warning. Brace Yourself Lincolnshire & Stay Safe

Another storm is blowing in from the Atlantic and it’s predicted to hit our shores late Friday so beware of the following hazards across the county.

Maybe it’s a sign of things to come and we can have a storm every weekend once the ‘special’ trade agreement is put in place with our good friends America. So it will be chlorinated chicken and shitty weather all year round.

It is during the storm season that the people of Gainsborough are grateful for their own ‘Lloyds Bank style’ wild charge of horses through the streets of the town as they look for pastures new. Badly kept and untethered horses roaming the streets and common land is a reassuring sign that the town has a large population of trusted travelling tree surgeons. 

Often visiting the town when we need them the most, drafting in an extra fleet of Ford trucks and transits all with the same number plates, road tax and insurance, not to get the horses back but just to earn a few quid in the aftermath of the storm. They do like to help out with tree and plant waste, £20 for a quick disposal and storm season is their busiest time of the year.

Because let’s face it, local authority budgets are that stretched they cannot cope with the trail of destruction which high winds leave behind. 

So cheers, tree surgeons! Keep up the good work and please responsibility dump our rubbish in a hedge or ditch over in Hull & Nottinghamshire, aka ‘Lincolnshire’s dustbin’, just to ease the pressure on our councils budgets.

One more thing Lincolnshire folk, please remember that the Trent, Fosdyke and other local waterways are not a safe place to play especially at times of heavy rain and strong winds. So if any of you are planning to get spiced up off your tits this weekend – or any weekend, don’t go for a swim.

Stay safe Lincolnshire.

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