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Many of us miss spending time with family, walks in the park, trips to the coast, heading out to the pub for a few beers with our mates, doing the things which we use to take for granted before the lockdown started But despite this world pandemic, women have still found a way to celebrate
After a week and a half of sheer hell for parents attempting to teach their little darlings at home, parents now believe teachers must be dabbling in some form of witchcraft and dark arts. Parents all across the UK are in awe of teachers and support staff who take care of around 30 odd children
People from far and wide flocked to the coast this weekend as they mistook a message from our prime minister, advising people to stay indoors and social distance to mean ‘go out in the biggest gang you can find’. Mr Johnson’s advice to stay inside as part of the fight against the Coronavirus pandemic, was
Birds across the world are fearing the potential spread of ‘Human Flu’ and are considering a global lock-down after scientists suggested that the human Coronavirus, Covid 19, may spread among the avian population. Big Bird, a spokesperson for birds told The Sausage earlier today: “All birds should consider reducing the amount they travel, particularly those
Coronavirus could kill off pubs ‘within days’ after punters told to stay at home. Beer loving Brits were told to stay away from pubs and other indoor spaces earlier by Boris Johnson because of coronavirus, but industry bosses warn this could be disastrous for their future. The British Beer and Pub Association has written to
It was announced today that the 2020 European Football Championship will go ahead after all, bringing light relief to footy fans across the country. This year’s European Football Championship 2020 is to be placed in the hands of teenage boys and adult males who have no girlfriends, who still live at home with Mummy and
Today at around 6.55am hundreds of thousands of German and Gerwomen queued outside hospitals across the county waiting for the doors to open. Frauline Becker, a Matron at the Heilige Hans Datdodisheß hospital in Berlin, told the Sausage: “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened the doors at 7am. I was swamped by thousands
Bridlington amusement arcade mocks coronavirus panic by filling its grabber machine with toilet roll. Yes Sausage readers this is real news so forget going to the Lincolnshire coast where you can win a teddy, a fake Fiver or a tumble dryer at the bingo. The better prizes are north of the border. If you fancy
The arse washing society of the world are beside themselves with laughter today after the rest of Britain was threatened by a shortage of toilet roll. Lincolnshire arse washer and part-time lollypop person Steve Kac-Hatch has not used toilet roll for five years after having a bidet installed as part of his bathroom upgrade. Instead,
A Lincolnshire man was left feeling violated this week after he removed some of his belongings which had been in storage for three months whilst he searched for a flat. Roger Parsons a mild mannered man from Blyton had collected the last box of belongings from the storage unit and had noticed a strange noise
