Boris Johnson who was reportedly missing while the UK crumbled around him has been found.
While heavy winds and torrential rain brought havoc to most of the UK throughout February leading to mass floods costing billions in damages and the Corona Virus outbreak spreading faster than a skint crack-whore’s legs, Boris Johnson was nowhere to be seen.
It has emerged that the whole time he was sat in the Winchester enjoying a nice cold pint and thinking up baby names waiting for the problems to ‘blow over’.
In an interview with the Sausage Boris said “Har har humph humph phuuuuph harumph bu-bu buuuur ahhhh nice cold pint hmmmm har harhumphh wait for it all to blow over hmmmm har humph humph phuuuuph buuuur ahhhh It’s all Labour’s fault, I got Brexit done! Har humph humph phuuuuph.”
We see Boris… we see.