Today at around 6.55am hundreds of thousands of German and Gerwomen queued outside hospitals across the county waiting for the doors to open.
Frauline Becker, a Matron at the Heilige Hans Datdodisheß hospital in Berlin, told the Sausage: “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened the doors at 7am. I was swamped by thousands of my fellow countrymen and woman. They ran past me like a huge herd of stampeding wildebeest.”
“I could barely believe my eyes as the mob started to throw their beach towels over the empty hospital beds just like we do on holiday. Some of them were even removing elderly patients by tipping them out of the beds. Discarding them to one side so that they could lay out their towels and claim the bed.”
“The last time I witnessed anything like this was at a hotel in Majorca when we had to battle the British for the prime sunbeds, you know the ones that get the sun all day. You can guess how that ended, we don’t have a good track record for beating the British unless it’s football.”