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May 28, 2020

Breaking News Easter Weekend Parks & Beaches To Open To Specific Members Of The Public.


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The Government Will Be Lifting Restrictions In Parks And Beaches During The Easter Weekend.

In a shocking move the Government has announced today that, as a one off for the Easter weekend only, certain groups are allowed to go to parks and beaches, and invite friends round for BBQ’s. They can also visit elderly or sick relatives.

IMPORTANT- PLEASE READ

While the majority of the population will remain in lockdown the following groups will be allowed to gather together at parks, beaches and other authorized public places:

Cockwomble 

Imbeciles 

Half wits (more regularly known as Fuck-wits today)

Morons

Troglodytes 

Ignoramus’

Simpletons

Illiterates

Idiots

Dickheads

Twats

Brexiteers

Non Sausage Readers

Anyone not in those groups must follow the guidelines set out by the Government regarding social distancing and stay in doors. 

Herd immunity is about clearing out the weaker runts and allowing the strongest and fittest to survive. Or in our case, weeding out the divs and allowing the intelligent to survive.

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