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May 28, 2020

As The Nation Rejoices At Piers Morgan Self Isolating From GMB, The Search Is On To Find A Virus Which Will Keep Him Off Twitter

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The oddly popular breakfast TV presenter and first class gob shite Piers Morgan has had to step back from his presenting duties on Good Morning Britain while he awaits the results after being tested for Covid-19.

The presenter was showing mild symptoms associated with the Coronavirus and was quickly tested. He is distancing himself from work while he waits to see if he has the virus or not.

People celebrating the good fortune of a Piers Morgan free TV were soon left saddened when they soon realised that he could still use Twitter… and more regularly.

Piers was quick to hit Twitter to inform the world of his decision to stay at home.

“Just When we thought we were going to have a week or two free of the self righteous, pompous and self-opinionated twat…he reappears on Twitter.” Said well known ex-professional footballer and TV pundit Larry Ginekar.

“Now that the smug cunt’s sat at home on his phone with nothing much to do,  we are going to be seeing more of his venomous and badly thought out bullshit pouring out across Twitter throughout the day.” Roared best selling author and magic lover K.R. Jowlin. “Does anyone know of a virus we can infect him with that stops his fingers from working?”

Fellow TV presenter and slap happy knuckle dragger Clarry Jeremson said: “At least I don’t have to see his ugly face on TV now when I tune in to perve at sexy Sussana, cheeky Charlotte and luscious Laura for my Good Morning wake up wank.It gets the heart started and the blood pumping you know.

“When the cameras move to him it’s a bit of an anti-climax… if you know what I mean? The guy has a face you just wanna slap.”

GMB is Piers free for the foreseeable, so tune in and enjoy it while you can.

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