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July 6, 2020

Cummings InThe Clear, As He Was Delivering Essential Drugs To Northumberland Says County Lines Drug Lord.


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Local Drug Lord Levi Skaggface told The Sausage: “Lockdown has provided us with many obstacles and with many dealers including myself having to furlough their county lines drug runners to keep cost down and due to the lack of work with travel restrictions in place, we had to look down different avenues.” 

“How was I and the other dealers going to get our vital gear up north without detection or running the risk of hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of the white stuff being seized by the ‘Old Bill’?”

“As luck would have it, I was doing my weekly drop to the Cummings household and he just happened to mention that he was off on a ‘little holiday’ up north for his wife’s birthday and to visit his parents. He told me that he wouldn’t need his usual supply dropping in next week.”

“Bingo! I thought, all my prayers have been answered, praise the chuffing lord. Dominic ‘The Teflon’ Cummings could do the drop for us,nobody is going to stop the Tory Puppetmaster as he delivers vital medical supplies to our northern distribution team.”

“So the deal was done then and there and the best part of it was, it only cost me 2 grams and I have got the contract to supply Boris and co for the next 4 years. Winner winner Tory dinner!”

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