Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd. Say that their support team driver who rammed the PM up the arse yesterday has been ordered to attend an eye test at Barnard Castle.
Mr T. Orybellend, a spokesperson for Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd told The Sausage: “The driver will be made to drive up to Barnard Castle to test his eyesight. We believe this will give his eyes a really good test. He will not be alone though as he will be under the strict supervision of Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd co-owner Dominic Cummings, as he is an expert in this field and has previous experience. Plus he also knows the way.”
“They’ll go straight there for an eye test, have a quick wee in the bushes and maybe a cheeky Maccy Dees on the way back. There will be no visiting relatives on this trip. If this test is successful and we are able to obtain enough data on the drivers performance it may become part of our driver training program.”
“To take the pressure off the unnamed driver, his wife will also be accompanying him for the drive. It’ll be a nice day out for her too, what with it being her birthday on the day.”