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March 8, 2021

What’s Wrong With My Mighty Fine Ass Says Nellie The Elephant

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A Zimbabwean elephant named Nellie expressed disappointment and feels let down that poachers are only interested in his tusks and overlooked his mighty fine generous portion of an ass.

Nellie told The Sausage: “These poachers are only interested in one thing when they came sneaking into my habitat late Wednesday night all they wanted was some tusk action.”

“The poachers were so focused on my tusks they had barely noticed my mighty fine ass which really annoyed me as I’ve been hitting the gym everyday since January perfecting my peach. I must have done over ten thousand squats, I can’t believe they wasn’t interested, all that hard work and not even a pat on the ass!”

“I understand these guys want to make a quick few dollars off my ivory, but my real moneymaker is this perfect Kim Kardashian shaped ass.” 

“So if you want a hunting trophy look no further than this exquisite peach I’m hauling around right here! You can get tusks from any two-bit walrus to make your fancy chess pieces and piano keys!”

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