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The long anticipated question of “how many children does Boris have?” may finally be answered. Talks are underway between ITV and 10 downing street to revive “The Jeremy Kyle Show” to finally answer the long awaited question. After crumbling under substantial pressure Boris has been quoted as saying “we should proceed without dither and delay”
The NHS just has to struggle through the last few days of January and then everything will be fine. “Free hips and parking for all!” One consultant shouted across a packed waiting room. With the extra £350 million per week that was promised by the ever trust worthy Boris Johnson (Check his big red bus
Lincolnshire parents have been advised by the Met office to layer up on their pajamas and put their fluffy winter dressing gown on today for the morning school run as it’s a bit fresh out there. The school run could take a little longer this morning due to there being a General Election with mum’s
Brexit advent calendar has gone on sale a few days late with fuckall, false promises, lies and disappointment behind each door. The overpriced £15.50 festive product has a variety of picture predictions on every door from 1 to 24, but almost all windows end up entirely blank and lifeless, and after number 20 they don’t
Voters in Lincolnshire face an agonising choice in the upcoming general election as they attempt to balance their dislike of Johnny foreigners or their general hatred of anyone with money. It’s a dilemma which is causing mental torment and creating a lot of soul searching throughout the county. It could basically come down to… do
A should be retired local assembly worker and full time gammon has accused a fellow work colleague of brainwashing people. Apparently the brainwashing happened in a scientific controlled area of the factory known as ‘the factory stores’ where ‘The Lefty’ – as he has been affectionately nicknamed – hides out awaiting his Brexit loving prey.
A Scunthorpe woman says she’s not prepared to take any chances over the remote possibility of food shortages following Britain’s planned exit from the EU on October 31st. Ten Tonne Tracey, 30 who lives on Froddingham Road and can occasionally be seen flaunting her assets in The Ferry Road Club, has spent the last three
There was widespread panic today as UK residents were warned that there would be a severe shortage of oxygen in the event of no deal Brexit, rendering most of the population unable to breath, and ultimately die. Even though earlier assumptions that life would carry on pretty much as normal if Britain exited without a
Purge Like Warning Sirens Set To Welcome In The Start Of Brexit. Flood and warning sirens in towns across the county will sound at midnight on the 1st of November to warn locals of the start of Brexit. Lincolnshire folk, make sure you are Purge ready as your survival depends on it! Experts and analysts
With the collapse of Thomas Cook airlines passengers have been comforted by the news that a replacement bus service will kick in immediately The Government has issued a statement calling for anyone who has a spare bus to take it across the Channel and to one of the many airports across Europe so we can
