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May 28, 2020

Britain

Shortage Of Fresh Fruit & Veg Supply Has No Effect Whatsoever On The People Of Scunthorpe Reveals Report

Major disruption to the supply chain of fruit and vegetables across Lincolnshire and North Lincolnshire is expected to affect the Scunthorpian diet in no negative way whatsoever, according to a report published by experts at Lincoln University. Prof David Brownmore-or-less-son told The Sausage, from a safe distance of two meters: “With the perfect storm of

Man Quarantined With Parents Forced To Sit Watch Sex Scenes.

Thomas Tank or Tommy Tank to his friends has found self isolating during the coronavirus pandemic a little bit tricky and rather cringe worthy at times. Like many, Tommy has been trying to keep himself busy for those long hours of isolation. Only for him, it’s ended up being under some of the most mortifying

The Nations Birds All In A Flap Over Human Flu

Birds across the world are fearing the potential spread of ‘Human Flu’ and  are considering a global lock-down after scientists suggested that the human Coronavirus, Covid 19, may spread among the avian population. Big Bird, a spokesperson for birds told The Sausage earlier today: “All birds should consider reducing the amount they travel, particularly those

Hand Off Cocks And Put Away Your Favourite Sock!

It was announced today that the 2020 European Football Championship will go ahead after all, bringing light relief to footy fans across the country. This year’s European Football Championship 2020 is to be placed in the hands of teenage boys and adult males who have no girlfriends, who still live at home with Mummy and

You Saucy Lot, You Braved The Shave!

Lincolnshire folk all across the county once again prepared for Valentine’s Day by carefully thinning their pubic thatches, causing mayhem and localised flooding to areas of the county as sewers became blocked with massive pube-bergs. And with all the excess water from storm Dennis it was a recipe for disaster. As Lincolnshire folk stood in

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