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March 30, 2020

Britain

The Nations Birds All In A Flap Over Human Flu

Birds across the world are fearing the potential spread of ‘Human Flu’ and  are considering a global lock-down after scientists suggested that the human Coronavirus, Covid 19, may spread among the avian population. Big Bird, a spokesperson for birds told The Sausage earlier today: “All birds should consider reducing the amount they travel, particularly those

Hand Off Cocks And Put Away Your Favourite Sock!

It was announced today that the 2020 European Football Championship will go ahead after all, bringing light relief to footy fans across the country. This year’s European Football Championship 2020 is to be placed in the hands of teenage boys and adult males who have no girlfriends, who still live at home with Mummy and

You Saucy Lot, You Braved The Shave!

Lincolnshire folk all across the county once again prepared for Valentine’s Day by carefully thinning their pubic thatches, causing mayhem and localised flooding to areas of the county as sewers became blocked with massive pube-bergs. And with all the excess water from storm Dennis it was a recipe for disaster. As Lincolnshire folk stood in

The Jeremy Kyle Show Set For Return, Boris Johnson To Be The First Guest.

The long anticipated question of “how many children does Boris have?” may finally be answered.  Talks are underway between ITV and 10 downing street to revive “The Jeremy Kyle Show” to finally answer the long awaited question. After crumbling under substantial pressure Boris has been quoted as saying “we should proceed without dither and delay”

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