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A statement released last night from Downing St says that sheep dips are to be trialed at airports from next week.This is the latest move by the Government in a bid to halt the spread of Covid-19. The proven system used by farmers across the world to protect their sheep against infestation from external parasites
A proud Englishman and R Tommeh worshiper has stated in various social media posts, as well as bragged down the pub after several pints of Stella, that he’d do absolutely anything for his country apart from ‘wear a chuffing face mask’ during a global pandemic. Terrance Cockwomble, 42 from Gainsborough told The Sausage: “I’m willing
Boris Johnson has finally got his finger out and has announced the date for glory holes and woodland/beauty spot dogging sites to reopen. Popular car park dogging spots are to remain closed for longer though due to supermarkets having extended click and collect hours. Boris doesn’t want old Mavis going to collect her weekly shop
The new social distancing regulations of table ordering and filling out of forms only lasted until the bottom of the second pint yesterday as pubs re-opened their doors once again. Well we say re-opened their doors once again, if the rumours are to be believed, some establishments in Gainsborough having secret drinks behind closed curtains.
Skeggy and Mabo were hit hard today as crowds came from miles around to enjoy the hottest day of the year so far. Despite advice to stay away from the area, it was overrun with cars, sunbathers and bus wankers all using the ‘Cummings and Goings’ law which allows a person to drive to a
Gainsborough folk who do not smoke cannabis face fines and could be sent to prison under tough new drug laws. The small inbred Lincolnshire town is to make cannabis use compulsory for all residents under 50 years old with penalties for anyone who does not have any form of the drug in a bedroom drawer
Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd. Say that their support team driver who rammed the PM up the arse yesterday has been ordered to attend an eye test at Barnard Castle. Mr T. Orybellend, a spokesperson for Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd told The Sausage: “The driver will be made to drive up to Barnard Castle
Upper class supermarket Waitrose has taken social distancing to a whole new level – by banning anyone who doesn’t claim the maximum Furlough payment of £2500 a month or a pension which pays less than that from its shops. The new rules, which have come into force this week, ensure that common folk are kept
Parents across the land rejoice as it’s 1st of June and that means one thing, no not meeting up with 5 friends but some children are finally going back to school after a long, long Covid 19 holiday. The school Covid19 holiday is being compared to the SAS selection process and it is rumoured that
Local Drug Lord Levi Skaggface told The Sausage: “Lockdown has provided us with many obstacles and with many dealers including myself having to furlough their county lines drug runners to keep cost down and due to the lack of work with travel restrictions in place, we had to look down different avenues.” “How was I
