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Skeggy and Mabo were hit hard today as crowds came from miles around to enjoy the hottest day of the year so far. Despite advice to stay away from the area, it was overrun with cars, sunbathers and bus wankers all using the ‘Cummings and Goings’ law which allows a person to drive to a
Gainsborough folk who do not smoke cannabis face fines and could be sent to prison under tough new drug laws. The small inbred Lincolnshire town is to make cannabis use compulsory for all residents under 50 years old with penalties for anyone who does not have any form of the drug in a bedroom drawer
Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd. Say that their support team driver who rammed the PM up the arse yesterday has been ordered to attend an eye test at Barnard Castle. Mr T. Orybellend, a spokesperson for Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd told The Sausage: “The driver will be made to drive up to Barnard Castle
Upper class supermarket Waitrose has taken social distancing to a whole new level – by banning anyone who doesn’t claim the maximum Furlough payment of £2500 a month or a pension which pays less than that from its shops. The new rules, which have come into force this week, ensure that common folk are kept
Parents across the land rejoice as it’s 1st of June and that means one thing, no not meeting up with 5 friends but some children are finally going back to school after a long, long Covid 19 holiday. The school Covid19 holiday is being compared to the SAS selection process and it is rumoured that
Local Drug Lord Levi Skaggface told The Sausage: “Lockdown has provided us with many obstacles and with many dealers including myself having to furlough their county lines drug runners to keep cost down and due to the lack of work with travel restrictions in place, we had to look down different avenues.” “How was I
A woman who constantly ordered items from Amazon during the lockdown woke up one morning to find that her husband had decided to build himself a fortress out of all the packaging. Ady Mann made himself a stunning twin turret fortress with a full operational drawbridge out 84 boxes, 25 kilograms of brown paper and
A man who is working from home alongside his partner of nine years had not realised that she was such a cowbag and a complete dick in the workplace. Johnny Rockson was completely unprepared for his wife Angie’s workplace personality who turned out to be a massive backstabbing and self important cowbag. Johnny told The
Thousands of ‘disabled’ folk have flocked to Lincolnshire’s coast and ignored threats by the locals to stay away or else get burned in a Wickerman after coronavirus restrictions were eased by our main man in charge Boris Johnson. In Skegness on Wednesday, May 20, there were long queues for Skegness’ latest must go to attraction.
Seaside towns across Lincolnshire have launched a new campaign warning people that if they come and visit, they will be hunted down by angry inbred locals with pitchforks and burning torches. If captured you shall be placed in a Wickerman along with other captured tourists and burnt. Following that the hungry seagulls will pick over
