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Residents and business owners in Gainsborough have admitted that they are ‘absolutely over the flipping moon’ after it was announced that the Coke Truck has been scheduled to visit the town centre on November the 29th. According to a spokesperson for organisers Sniff ‘n’ Blow International, the small Lincolnshire market town of Gainsborough has been
More than 250 people have been arrested as part of an operation to crackdown on disrespectful non Poppy wearing. Since mid the start of November 250 people – described as pacifists, communists and immigrant loving tree hugging lefty types – have been arrested following a series of dawn raids around Lincolnshire for various offences including
A teetotal Lincoln factory worker arrested by Lincolnshire Traffic Police for drink driving had his conviction overturned when it was revealed that he actually has a bizarre and rare medical condition called ABS (auto-brewery-syndrome) which causes his stomach to brew beer. Paul Brewer-Barleyson 58 from Westwick Drive Lincoln was stopped on Tillbridge Lane in the
On The Non Day Of Christmas His Work Colleagues Gave To Him… 24 Inches of Rubber And a Beating Near A Pear Tree.. A man has been battered to death today at a local dildo factory after humming festive tunes at his workstation. Mark Childsworth, 33 from Cleethorps who was the Chief Product Tester, started
It has been revealed that Lincolnshire police have now closed a massive investigation into alleged sex worker trafficking in Gainsborough after they realised that 9 vans of workers seen parked up on a local road were workers for Virgin Media and not ‘virgin’ sex workers. The investigation was launched after detective A. Rsetoot of the
THE act of ‘popping round’ unannounced to someone’s house is to be reclassified as a crime with the possibility of a custodial sentence or a good birching in the local town square. The government has finally vowed to clamp down on this antisocial behaviour that has terrorised the British population for generations. A government
A sleepy town in Lincolnshire famous for it headless horseman and ugly women where nothing much happens apart from the odd derelict building fire and the often bridge strike, has become a no-go area for some locals. Recently the town has witnessed a major increase in crime, and the townsfolk are demanding urgent action
Offences have been counted and the results are in. The Sausage can announce that Boston are this year’s runaway winners of the ‘Towns League of Crime’ with 3362 offences being clocked up. Grantham and Spalding made up the rest of the podium with 2716 and 2518 number offences ranging from marrying someone who’s not
