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September 27, 2020

Drugs

Gainsborough Declares Crackdown On Non Cannabis-Users

Gainsborough folk who do not smoke cannabis face fines and could be sent to prison under tough new drug laws. The small inbred Lincolnshire town is to make cannabis use compulsory for all residents under 50 years old with penalties for anyone who does not have any form of the drug in a bedroom drawer

Virtual Beers Gives Lincoln Man A Real Hangover.

A Lincolnshire man who drank with mates in a ‘virtual pub’, has woken up with a very real hangover. Terry Kelham from the Birchwood Estate Lincoln, drank pint after pint of Stella with friends over Zoom to pass the time on Sunday evening during the coronavirus lockdown. Terry was baffled and bemused to emerge from

Good Morning Lincolnshire Take Note

Storm Warning. Brace Yourself Lincolnshire & Stay Safe Another storm is blowing in from the Atlantic and it’s predicted to hit our shores late Friday so beware of the following hazards across the county. Maybe it’s a sign of things to come and we can have a storm every weekend once the ‘special’ trade agreement

BREAKING NEWS: GOVERNMENT ADVISES AGAINST ALL NON-ESSENTIAL TRAVEL TO S’CUNTHORPE!

The British Government has advised against all non-essential travel to S’cunthorpe A government spokesperson has confirmed that official advice about travelling to ‘The Arsehole  of Lincolnshire’ – also known as the ‘Lincolnshire’s Front Bottom’’ – has been issued. He told The Sausage: “We are now advising people against all non-essential travel to Sunny Scummy and

Prince Andrew To Appear In A Jeremy Kyle One Off Special.

In a statement a palace spokesperson told The Sausage: “Prince Andrew will appear on a one off special of the Jeremy Kyle Show next Wednesday in a bid to clear his name and quash some of the allegations that have been thrown at him. It seems like short notice but honestly this has been planned

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