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November 17, 2019

Grantham

Happy Lincolnshire Day You Yellow-bellied Folk.

Lincolnshire’s official county day is here Sausage readers and it marks the anniversary of the Lincolnshire Rising, a revolt by Catholics against the establishment of the Church of England by Henry VIII on 1st October 1536. Yellowbellies (pronounced yeller belly) born and bred in Lincolnshire, and those who have moved to the county and now

Are You Ready For The Brexit Purge?

Purge Like Warning Sirens Set To Welcome In The Start Of Brexit. Flood and warning sirens in towns across the county will sound at midnight on the 1st of November to warn locals of the start of Brexit.  Lincolnshire folk, make sure you are Purge ready as your survival depends on it! Experts and analysts

Benefit Caps Hurt Families County Wide

  Benefit caps have left families across the county with deep scarring after not being checked thoroughly by Austerity Hits Ltd based in Saxilby https://thelincolnshiresausage.com/2019/05/19/austerity-factory-to-open-at-saxilby/ A massive fail in the final inspection process of the benefit caps was to blame. The caps left the factory un-fettled with very sharp edges, cutting families – who are

Are Disabled Bays Making People Disabled ??

On Wednesday evening, Sausage reporter Keep Notes decided to stop and have his dinner break in a well known fast food restaurant, the one with golden arches, in a small Lincolnshire town whose residents probably won’t understand this article. Consuming his dinner in his car he was tucking into one of the restaurants many delicious

Roll Up Roll Up It’s Show Time.

Prize tractors, pig racing, wicker person building and even Lincolnshire’s first unrelated marriage to take place. Organisers of the popular Lincolnshire Show, held at the Lincolnshire Showground, expect this year’s to be the biggest ever. This year the annual show takes place on Wednesday and Thursday the 19th and 20th of June. If you haven’t

Company Boss Installs Crying Areas For Employees

As tensions mount between employees at a Lincolnshire packaging machine manufacturing company, the boss has had no option but to install designated crying areas around the workshop. A toxic tension has been bubbling away like a hot cauldron in a witches cottage. The main ingredient in this toxic atmosphere is Brexit. It has divided the

Time Is A Healer.

The phrase, ‘time is a great healer,’ is being put into practice next month by the NHS. A&E departments across Lincolnshire and South Yorkshire are set to extend their waiting times in a radical approach to cure people’s ailments and injuries. As we all know time is money, especially when you are in A&E for

Lincolnshire Leisure Centres Recruitment Drive .

A recruitment drive has started county wide at local council run leisure centres due to a shortage of over opinionated Fat to Morbidly Obese men who talk Shit in Saunas and Steam rooms . The position offered will have a starting salary of £ 21000 with lunches provided.The ideal candidate must be able to tell

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