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May 28, 2020

Health

Shortage Of Fresh Fruit & Veg Supply Has No Effect Whatsoever On The People Of Scunthorpe Reveals Report

Major disruption to the supply chain of fruit and vegetables across Lincolnshire and North Lincolnshire is expected to affect the Scunthorpian diet in no negative way whatsoever, according to a report published by experts at Lincoln University. Prof David Brownmore-or-less-son told The Sausage, from a safe distance of two meters: “With the perfect storm of

The Nations Birds All In A Flap Over Human Flu

Birds across the world are fearing the potential spread of ‘Human Flu’ and  are considering a global lock-down after scientists suggested that the human Coronavirus, Covid 19, may spread among the avian population. Big Bird, a spokesperson for birds told The Sausage earlier today: “All birds should consider reducing the amount they travel, particularly those

You Saucy Lot, You Braved The Shave!

Lincolnshire folk all across the county once again prepared for Valentine’s Day by carefully thinning their pubic thatches, causing mayhem and localised flooding to areas of the county as sewers became blocked with massive pube-bergs. And with all the excess water from storm Dennis it was a recipe for disaster. As Lincolnshire folk stood in

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