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May 7, 2021


New Two Pint Rule For Social Distancing.

The new social distancing regulations of table ordering and filling out of forms only lasted until the bottom of the second pint yesterday as pubs re-opened their doors once again.  Well we say re-opened their doors once again, if the rumours are to be believed, some establishments in Gainsborough having secret drinks behind closed curtains.

Gainsborough Declares Crackdown On Non Cannabis-Users

Gainsborough folk who do not smoke cannabis face fines and could be sent to prison under tough new drug laws. The small inbred Lincolnshire town is to make cannabis use compulsory for all residents under 50 years old with penalties for anyone who does not have any form of the drug in a bedroom drawer

Tear My Statue Down And I Will Bray The Living Fuck Out Of You!

The Jolly Fisherman has thrown the gauntlet down to the statue topplers of the world offering free knuckle butties to anyone who dares to challenge him, basically saying ” Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!”  The Lincolnshire icon and Skegvegas celebrity told The Sausage: ” Anyone who wants to come

Parents Rejoice As Little Darlings Go Back To School

Parents across the land rejoice as it’s 1st of June and that means one thing, no not meeting up with 5 friends but some children are finally going back to school after a long, long Covid 19 holiday. The school Covid19 holiday is being compared to the SAS selection process and it is rumoured that

Man Builds A Fortress Out of Wifes Amazon Packaging

A woman who constantly ordered items from Amazon during the lockdown woke up one morning to find that her husband had decided to build himself a fortress out of all the packaging. Ady Mann made himself a stunning twin turret fortress with a full operational drawbridge out 84 boxes, 25 kilograms of brown paper and

Husband Never Realised Wife Was Such A Cow At Work

A man who is working from home alongside his partner of nine years had not realised that she was such a cowbag and a complete dick in the workplace.  Johnny Rockson was completely unprepared for his wife Angie’s workplace personality who turned out to be a massive backstabbing and self important cowbag.  Johnny told The

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