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A furloughed factory worker from Gainsborough who has been at home for the past six weeks due to the Coronavirus lockdown, has said that he doesn’t mind ‘one bit’, and that he hopes it goes on for many more months. David Woodson, who works at a manufacturing company making automated packaging equipment told The Sausage:”The
The Society of Science and Dog Walking released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don’t own a dog but go for a daily walk are a little bit odd and are probably up to no good and should be approached with caution. Double the distance of social distancing is advised. Dober Mann, a
April the 24th needs marking down as an historical event because a cure for stupidity was born and we have the Great Donald Trump to thank, slow hand clap please. Throughout this coronavirus crisis good old Donald, the leader of the free world, has turned daily White House task force briefings into a rambling two-hour
An incredibly brave and selfless man has risked catching the coronavirus at a Gainsborough supermarket because his mother needed some brandy and six bottles of lemonade because she cannot go out because of her twelve week lockdown. Andy Mann had ventured out to his local Lidl and Aldi last night wearing only a protective mask
The Sausage learnt today that the Pandemic of mini cooper drivers is worse than expected. Male Mini Cooper drivers seem to follow a few of the same traits such as, being a jumped up little bastard who are trying to look wealthier than they usually are. Trying to make their mark in the property industry
Writers of satirical news websites across the world were in shock today as one of the Lincolnshire Sausages top writers was placed into Facebook Prison. ” Go directly to jail if you pass go don’t collect £200″ Tom Eh-Isawankha, our very own brown skinned, second generation son of a muslim immigrant and job stealing writer,
Major disruption to the supply chain of fruit and vegetables across Lincolnshire and North Lincolnshire is expected to affect the Scunthorpian diet in no negative way whatsoever, according to a report published by experts at Lincoln University. Prof David Brownmore-or-less-son told The Sausage, from a safe distance of two meters: “With the perfect storm of
The Government Will Be Lifting Restrictions In Parks And Beaches During The Easter Weekend. In a shocking move the Government has announced today that, as a one off for the Easter weekend only, certain groups are allowed to go to parks and beaches, and invite friends round for BBQ’s. They can also visit elderly or
Thomas Tank or Tommy Tank to his friends has found self isolating during the coronavirus pandemic a little bit tricky and rather cringe worthy at times. Like many, Tommy has been trying to keep himself busy for those long hours of isolation. Only for him, it’s ended up being under some of the most mortifying
Many of us miss spending time with family, walks in the park, trips to the coast, heading out to the pub for a few beers with our mates, doing the things which we use to take for granted before the lockdown started But despite this world pandemic, women have still found a way to celebrate
