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Scunny resident John Brownson has cut his beard after nine months, only to remember the original purpose of the beard was to hide his dumb looking baby face and four chins from others. John told The Sausage: “It’s not that I think I’m dog ugly, it’s just that my face is a bit dumb and
Major disruption to the supply chain of fruit and vegetables across Lincolnshire and North Lincolnshire is expected to affect the Scunthorpian diet in no negative way whatsoever, according to a report published by experts at Lincoln University. Prof David Brownmore-or-less-son told The Sausage, from a safe distance of two meters: “With the perfect storm of
The British Government has advised against all non-essential travel to S’cunthorpe A government spokesperson has confirmed that official advice about travelling to ‘The Arsehole of Lincolnshire’ – also known as the ‘Lincolnshire’s Front Bottom’’ – has been issued. He told The Sausage: “We are now advising people against all non-essential travel to Sunny Scummy and
A pub in Scunthorpe called ‘The Clitoris’ has been forced to shut its doors just six weeks after opening. The management and shareholders are blaming the location and the local men’s inability to find it. ‘The Clitoris’ was supposed to breathe new life into Scunthorpe’s flagging bar scene so instead of snorting coke off the
People in North Lincolnshire could breathe easy this weekend as the Scunthorpe stink, known affectionately as the Scunny Stench was blown away to neighbouring Yorkshire. While storm Ciara caused havoc across Britain, leaving most people unhappy with the widespread devastation of flooding, missing roofs and blocked roads, the people of North Lincolnshire filled the streets
Friday night all across Britain celebrations were being held as the UK withdrew from the European Union project, a project which has kept peace across Europe for over 70 years. During a small celebration held outside a Polish food shop in Scunthorpe by a handful of gapped toothed British patriots shouting slogans like ‘British jobs
Ten Bob Tina the Blow Job Queen of Bottesford as the locals like to call her, real name Tina Turner from Bottesford, has decided to offer free nosh jobs in the woods of Bottesford Beck Linear Park over the last week of January as a way to drum up business. “I got the idea after
Dry January has been downgraded this year to mildly moist across the country it has been revealed. Millions of people, who had started the New Year with the best of intentions have already got their eager eye on what’s left of the festive seasons booze and leftover party food as their hangovers clear, thinking “Sod
Tina Turner affectionately known as Ten Bob Tina by her ‘friends’ was tuning into the ITV 1 show Good Morning Britain, Thursday, October 24, when the programme cut to Calendar to see the news in Lincolnshire and that there Yorkshire. Click Here For Ten Bob Tina However, Tina noticed an unfortunate positioning in the technical
Workers across Lincolnshire were forced into doing a full day’s work and had to speak to one another at break times today due to a major mobile phone network outage. Workers were unable to update their Instagram and Facebook accounts leaving many staff with nothing better to do than get on and do the work
