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A statement released last night from Downing St says that sheep dips are to be trialed at airports from next week.This is the latest move by the Government in a bid to halt the spread of Covid-19. The proven system used by farmers across the world to protect their sheep against infestation from external parasites
Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd. Say that their support team driver who rammed the PM up the arse yesterday has been ordered to attend an eye test at Barnard Castle. Mr T. Orybellend, a spokesperson for Bojo Cummings Limo Hire Ltd told The Sausage: “The driver will be made to drive up to Barnard Castle
The Sausage learnt today that the Pandemic of mini cooper drivers is worse than expected. Male Mini Cooper drivers seem to follow a few of the same traits such as, being a jumped up little bastard who are trying to look wealthier than they usually are. Trying to make their mark in the property industry
Troubled airline Flybe has told thousands of stranded passengers across the world today that they can never ever go home to their friends and families and they should forget their old lives and begin new ones wherever they have landed. The company which was bailed out by the UK government only last year has entered
An Audi driver has scribbled a letter in his favourite coloured crayon addressed to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth asking for a chuffing Knighthood and a public holiday to be named after him after letting a pensioner out at a junction, it has emerged. Pete Ennis, 32, from Lincoln’s Birchwood estate was in a line of
A recent study has shown that buying a Vauxhall is just like buying a scratch card in the fact that usually every one in five is a winner. Over the years Vauxhall’s have been littered with several well known problems ranging from windows suddenly opening on their own as soon as they hit 70 mph
Annoying children are to be tethered to the outside of planes, trains and buses so they can play outside and avoid disturbing older passengers who like quiet. The suggestion to tether children to the outside of public transport came after 78 year old Mr G. Rumpybum saw the environmentalists glue themselves to London’s Tube Trains
It has been reported that a BMW driver has been seen using indicators whilst driving on the A46 just south of Lincoln this week. The driver was breaking every rule in the BMW handbook when it comes to indicating and it has really upset the staff at BMW. They are concerned for the drivers safety
An 11 mile stretch of canal between Brayford Pool and Torksey is to be sold at auction today. It is believed to be the oldest person made waterway of its time. Formally known as man made but due to the complaints received from the local W.I. it had to be reclassified. It was built
A Gainsborough paper published a positive piece after the town received two new visitors it has emerged. Joyous council officials released a statement that the 2 new visitors, an old lady in a hat and shoplifter from Sheffield came to town on the new train service the locals have affectionately named the ghost train. Exclusive!
