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A Gainsborough man who has spent most of the last few years blowing bubbles in the town centre last night confirmed that he was now clean after being addicted to soap since the age of 21. “It’s all bollocks about weed being a gateway drug if I’m honest with you.” Cried Imperial Leather as he
Tensions between Lincolnshire and Nottinghamshire heightened today after Lincolnshire threatened to flood it’s neighbour. The low farmlands around Beckingham and Saundby will be the targets of the first wave of flooding if Nottinghamshire does not apologise for the comments made by the manager of Trent Port as reported in the Sausage here: Military Gather As
Rumours were rife in Gainsborough of a Euromillions jackpot win this morning, after a couple walked into a local post office and paid their electricity bill in full. Postmistress Pat O’Cake said “I couldn’t believe it like. They just walked in all cocky with brand new matching 3 stripe tracksuits, brand new trainers and a
Lincolnshire’s official county day is here Sausage readers and it marks the anniversary of the Lincolnshire Rising, a revolt by Catholics against the establishment of the Church of England by Henry VIII on 1st October 1536. Yellowbellies (pronounced yeller belly) born and bred in Lincolnshire, and those who have moved to the county and now
It has been revealed that Lincolnshire police have now closed a massive investigation into alleged sex worker trafficking in Gainsborough after they realised that 9 vans of workers seen parked up on a local road were workers for Virgin Media and not ‘virgin’ sex workers. The investigation was launched after detective A. Rsetoot of the
Councils across Lincolnshire have started to build large stores of firewood in towns and villages for the local populace as part of its Brexit preparations. In operation Wood You Adam And Eve It, town councils have hired several members of the local ‘traveller community’ to distribute firewood on several unused and derelict locations plus the
Gainsborough last night prepared for Brexit by having a scheduled mini power cut which was organised by the Council and the European energy suppliers that run the power stations in the area. Normally the council can’t organise a piss up in a brewery so hats off to them. Many worried locals took to Facebook to
The residents of Gainsborough were up in arms this week as the admins of popular Facebook group Connecting Gainsborough requested the people in the group to be less nasty. A long and tedious debate erupted on the popular but often controversial local group. Local man and and constant moaner Clem Idia said: “This is a
A sleepy town in Lincolnshire famous for it headless horseman and ugly women where nothing much happens apart from the odd derelict building fire and the often bridge strike, has become a no-go area for some locals. Recently the town has witnessed a major increase in crime, and the townsfolk are demanding urgent action
Lea Road Bridge in Gainsborough has been at it again despite warnings from local Authorities and the British Transport Police. On Wednesday afternoon August 14 th around 3pm the naughty bridge decided to stop another lorry in its tracks brining that part of Gainsborough to a standstill. The bridge is a pivotal part of
